A sad day

Yesterday morning I had some bleeding, not a lot but enough to be concerned about. I also had some pain, so decided to phone my midwife who suggested I phone the early pregnancy unit. I was booked in for a scan.

After a 3 hour wait, Sven and I walked into the little room. Because I am 11 weeks 5 days she decided to do a abdominal scan, after a few minutes she said that she was not encouraged by what she saw and needed to do an internal scan.

After what felt like an age, the doctor said that she was still not encouraged, but needed to confirm with a colleague before continuing. Another doctor came in and they discussed their diagnosis...by their faces I knew for sure something was terribly wrong.

My baby was measuring 9 weeks and had no heart beat, it died at 9 weeks.

Sven and I are distraught.....I can't begin to describe how I feel, all I can say is that I am numb and terribly, terribly sad. I have always wanted to have a baby and when we fell pregnant, I was just so happy.

I know that everything happens for a reason, and that this soul was not meant to be. So close yet so far.....we were 2 days from 12 weeks. It happens to so many women, and I take comfort in the fact that nature knows best...it just hurts!

Sven and I will go to the hospital this morning (Thursday 4th Oct) to discuss what to do next. I started bleeding a bit more heavily last night, so things are progressing naturally. It is my hope that I can continue in this way.

This is the scan pic of our little one...looks so perfect......



We will try again.